T' Lusty Cornmaiden

In honor o' Bob's twisted humor

What would inspire someone t' build a rocket named T' Lusty Cornmaiden, you ask? An innocent Rocket Talk, matey, includin' Bob Fortune would be t' answer.

This week (late February), me hearties, a group o' us were chattin' about our launch sites and surrounding rocket-eatin' crops when Bob said somethin' about lusty cornmaidens hidin' in t' corn waitin' t' attack dweeby rocketeers. T' conversation then turned t' exceedingly corny puns, shiver me timbers, shiver me timbers, ya bilge rat, and an idea struck. Blimey! Why nay build a rocket with a corn theme?

Of course, me hearties, now t' difficult question is what t' use? Corncobs seem perfect... Avast! Blimey! Cheap... Lightweight... Totally atypical rocket material...

Collectin' t' parts

Fortunately, this is a pretty easy build. Avast! I realized that a 13mm motor will fit into a corncob, so thar's no need for ANY form o' conventional body tube, me hearties, unlike my first idea.

Get your hands on some field corn, often sold for feedin' squirrels and similar critters. Begad! Aye aye! A couple o' cans o' corn for decoratin' material (labels), a 3/4" launch lug, and a box o' some sort made of light cardboard, and you're set.

Assembly

Find a decent sized ear o' corn and strip all o' t' kernels off. Next, cut a strip of cardboard approximately 7.5" long and 3/4" wide. Avast, me proud beauty! Finally, remove t' labels from t' cans of corn.

Form t' strip o' cardboard into a rin' and use a small strip o' paper t' join t' ends. Glue t' labels from t' can onto t' outside o' t' ring, arrr, strictly for aesthetic purposes. Set aside t' just completed rin' fin.

Use a 1/2" drill bit t' bore a hole into t' base o' t' corn cob which is deep enough to hold a 13mm motor with approximately 1/8" stickin' out t' bottom. Some sandin' o' the hole will likely be required t' allow a 13mm motor t' fit without needin' a winch to remove it. Five minutes with a Dremel and a small sandin' drum works wonders...

Cut two short strips o' cardboard approximately 1" long and 1/2" tall. Ahoy! Use an X-Acto cutlass to two shallow slits in t' corn cob approximately 1/2" from t' end with t' hole, matey, on opposite sides from each other. Arrr! Use CA t' glue one end o' a strip into each slot, arrr, t' form two tabs on which t' rin' fin can be mounted.

Hold t' corn cob upside down (drilled end up) and center t' rin' fin over t' end. Make a pencil mark on each tab t' indicate where t' rin' touches each tab. Avast, me proud beauty! Ya scallywag! Set t' rin' aside and cut each tab 1/8" beyond t' pencil mark. Avast, me proud beauty! Fold each tab at t' pencil mark then slide the rin' over t' tabs. Begad! Well, blow me down! T' tabs should now hold t' rin' in place. Ya scallywag! Adjust t' folds as necessary, ya bilge rat, then glue t' rin' on with CA.

Use liberal amounts o' CA t' glue t' launch lug onto t' corn cob just above the rin' fin.

Launch Report

03/04/2001
Aye, matey, carumba! Blimey! First attempt was on a 1/4A, me hearties, which proved t' be woefully inadequate. T' 'maiden cleared t' rod, but just barely. Well, blow me down! Needless t' say, t' lady gave me an "ear"ful when I picked her up and checked for damage.

Okay, time t' try again. Blimey! This time, it's serious, matey, shiver me timbers, so out comes an A10-0T. Aye aye! No recovery system, so t' lack o' delay shouldn't be an issue. Avast, me proud beauty! 5... Blimey! 4... 3... Well, blow me down! Ahoy! 2... Ya scallywag! 1... Aye aye! Whoosh! And away she goes! Nice, straight boost followed by a nice POP! as t' motor ejects. Aye aye! Hmmm... Avast! That recovery doesn't quite look like a tumble... Begad! Begad! No, me bucko, matter o' fact, that looks rather ballistic... Arrr! WHUMP! Nose first into t' ground less than 10 feet from t' bad, ya bilge rat, and t' rin' fin pops off. Avast, me proud beauty! That wasn't in t' original plan...

I have a redesign planned t' resolve this without dramatically complicatin' t' design or construction, matey, ya bilge rat, and without addin' a parachute or streamer t' contend with. Blimey! Aye aye! Blimey! Once I've done a test flight, I will post an update.