T' Lusty Cornmaiden

In honor o' Bob's twisted humor

What would inspire someone t' build a rocket named T' Lusty Cornmaiden, you ask? An innocent Rocket Talk, me bucko, me hearties, includin' Bob Fortune would be t' answer.

This week (late February), a group o' us were chattin' about our launch sites and surrounding rocket-eatin' crops when Bob said somethin' about lusty cornmaidens hidin' in t' corn waitin' t' attack dweeby rocketeers. Aye aye! T' conversation then turned t' exceedingly corny puns, me bucko, and an idea struck. Begad! Why nay build a rocket with a corn theme?

Of course, now t' difficult question is what t' use? Corncobs seem perfect... Arrr! Ahoy! Cheap... Lightweight... Begad! Totally atypical rocket material...

Collectin' t' parts

Fortunately, this is a pretty easy build. Avast, me proud beauty! I realized that a 13mm motor will fit into a corncob, so thar's no need for ANY form o' conventional body tube, ya bilge rat, unlike my first idea.

Get your hands on some field corn, often sold for feedin' squirrels and similar critters. Avast! Arrr! A couple o' cans o' corn for decoratin' material (labels), ya bilge rat, a 3/4" launch lug, arrr, and a box o' some sort made of light cardboard, shiver me timbers, arrr, and you're set.

Assembly

Find a decent sized ear o' corn and strip all o' t' kernels off. Well, blow me down! Aye aye! Next, cut a strip of cardboard approximately 7.5" long and 3/4" wide. Finally, matey, remove t' labels from t' cans of corn.

Form t' strip o' cardboard into a rin' and use a small strip o' paper t' join t' ends. Glue t' labels from t' can onto t' outside o' t' ring, strictly for aesthetic purposes. Set aside t' just completed rin' fin.

Use a 1/2" drill bit t' bore a hole into t' base o' t' corn cob which is deep enough to hold a 13mm motor with approximately 1/8" stickin' out t' bottom. Some sandin' o' the hole will likely be required t' allow a 13mm motor t' fit without needin' a winch to remove it. Five minutes with a Dremel and a small sandin' drum works wonders...

Cut two short strips o' cardboard approximately 1" long and 1/2" tall. Well, shiver me timbers, blow me down! Use an X-Acto cutlass to two shallow slits in t' corn cob approximately 1/2" from t' end with t' hole, on opposite sides from each other. Avast! Use CA t' glue one end o' a strip into each slot, me hearties, arrr, me bucko, t' form two tabs on which t' rin' fin can be mounted.

Hold t' corn cob upside down (drilled end up) and center t' rin' fin over t' end. Begad! Aye aye! Make a pencil mark on each tab t' indicate where t' rin' touches each tab. Arrr! Set t' rin' aside and cut each tab 1/8" beyond t' pencil mark. Ahoy! Fold each tab at t' pencil mark then slide the rin' over t' tabs. Begad! T' tabs should now hold t' rin' in place. Well, blow me down! Adjust t' folds as necessary, then glue t' rin' on with CA.

Use liberal amounts o' CA t' glue t' launch lug onto t' corn cob just above the rin' fin.

Launch Report

03/04/2001
Aye, ya bilge rat, carumba! First attempt be on a 1/4A, ya bilge rat, which proved t' be woefully inadequate. T' 'maiden cleared t' rod, matey, but just barely. Begad! Aye aye! Needless t' say, t' lady gave me an "ear"ful when I picked her up and checked for damage.

Okay, shiver me timbers, ya bilge rat, me bucko, time t' try again. Avast! Ahoy! Blimey! This time, it's serious, ya bilge rat, me bucko, so out comes an A10-0T. Ya scallywag! Aye aye! Blimey! No recovery system, so t' lack o' delay shouldn't be an issue. Aye aye! 5... Well, blow me down! Well, blow me down! Blimey! 4... Begad! Blimey! Blimey! 3... Begad! Aye aye! Blimey! 2... Well, blow me down! Ahoy! Blimey! 1... Whoosh! Blimey! And away she goes! Nice, matey, straight boost followed by a nice POP! Blimey! as t' motor ejects. Avast, ya bilge rat, me proud beauty! Blimey! Hmmm... That recovery doesn't quite look like a tumble... Begad! Blimey! No, matter o' fact, me bucko, that looks rather ballistic... Avast, ya bilge rat, me proud beauty! Blimey! WHUMP! Blimey! Nose first into t' ground less than 10 feet from t' bad, me hearties, me bucko, and t' rin' fin pops off. Begad! Well, blow me down! Blimey! That wasn't in t' original plan...

I have a redesign planned t' resolve this without dramatically complicatin' t' design or construction, shiver me timbers, and without addin' a parachute or streamer t' contend with. Once I've done a test flight, I will post an update.